The Dinner Table Is Your Opportunity

Many ask me for advice on how to improve their business and professional relationships so today I would like to share with you one of my favorite answers that involves the dinner table.

First, I ask them this question: do you eat your meals together with your family or significant other? If they answer no, my answer will include an extra step for them – introducing the habit of eating together. If they say yes, they already have an opportunity tonight to try my answer out. It is a simple exercise that anybody can do.

At the beginning of the meal when everybody is sitting around the table think about 1-3 things that your spouse and your kids have done that you asked them for during the day. For example: taking out the trash, setting the table, picking up the mail, or buying milk at the store. Now say “I want to thank you [name] for [the task completed]. Thank you very much! “Repeat this as many times as many family members you have. For my dinner table would be at least three thank you sentences – one for my husband, one for my son and one for my daughter. Once you are done, invite others to share their thank you if they have any. At the beginning they might not have any but as you are repeating this exercise every night you will see a shift. Kids at an early age are amazing at this game. Their honesty and care will surprise you and fill your heart with love.

Why is this exercise important for your professional career? Well, it reinforces the people around you that you have notices their actions, that you appreciate their efforts and that you are recognizing their behaviors as important to you. It feels good to help others and to receive a thank you. Yet, it takes intention to ask for what we want and then notice that it has been done.

Another side of this exercise is when you have nothing to thank others for. That posts the questions: Did you ask for others’ support or did you try to be the hero of the day and do it all by yourself? Are you overwhelmed at the end of the day and wish others lighten your workload? Well, unless you notice that you are intentionally doing it all and not involving others, you will continue to feel like you deserve a thank you but not getting one.

First, start giving your thank you away, for free to those who you appreciate the most in your life. Then you will learn how to give it to those that you work with – including your boss.